We’ve come a long way since the dark ages when our children were wildly misdiagnosed, and we as parents were blamed for our children’s differences. We now know that autism, ADHD and other neurodiversities are not caused by poor parenting or vaccines. We also now realize that aspects of the neurodiversity can be very beneficial for our children and our society. But it’s still extremely hard work to raise a child who is different from their peers. Parents of children with autism face challenges that other parents don’t understand.

“How do I guide my child through the challenges of childhood, so that my child will grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive?”

  • Should you push your child to be “normal” and fit in?
  • How do you win the support of your school district?
  • Are labels useful or harmful?
  • How do you know when to ask your child to try harder vs. make things easier for your child?
  • What if your child wants to take on more challenges than you think they are ready for?
  • What about if your spouse, or your ex, has a completely different parenting philosophy than you do?
  • How do you know if your child is being treated fairly at school?
  • How can you find the time to juggle all the competing demands in your life?
  • How do you know which services are best for your child?
  • How do you know if your other children are getting enough of your time and resources?
  • And most importantly, will your child turn out to be happy? This is what we all want the most; our children to be happy.

My Parenting Story:

The youngest of my two children, Callan, was diagnosed first with PDD-NOS in 1997 at age 7, and then diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome a couple of years later, and then diagnosed with autism and ADHD in 2020. Also in 2020, Callan started identifying as non-binary, and uses “they/them” pronouns. The social aspects of school and life have always been an enormous challenge for them. But after years of hard work, they now have an active social life and amazingly supportive friends. In 2015 they graduated with a Master’s Degree in Civil Engineering, earned their Professional Engineering License (PE) in 2019, and is now employed as a water resources engineer. Callan has also had a girlfriend since 2021 and that relationship is thriving.

I am so grateful, and so amazed, and so proud of Callan. I wish I had known back then, that everything was going to be fine. Not just fine, but wonderful. Callan is the light of my life, and they have such a bright future ahead of them. Sure, they play video games after work, make nerdy jokes, and now we have to remember to use they/them pronouns! And for years they didn’t date, but now they have a loving and supportive girlfriend. They have a professional job, and they’re enjoyable to be around, and they get out and do fun things with their friends, and most importantly, they’re very happy!

I work with parents of neurodiverse children; I understands what a joy and challenge parenting can be.